Growing with Someone

Keep this in mind. This is for all: the recently married, the ones who have been married, the soon to get married, and the ones who are still looking...

Years ago, I asked God to give me a spouse, "You don't own because you didn't ask," God said. Not only I asked for a spouse but also explained what kind of spouse I wanted. I want a nice, tender, forgiving, passionate, honest, peaceful, generous, understanding, pleasant, warm, intelligent, humorous, attentive, compassionate and truthful. I even mentioned the physical characteristics I dreamt about. As time went by, I added the required list of my wanted spouse.

One night, in my prayer, God talked to my heart: "My servant, I cannot give you what you want", I asked God why? God said, "Because I am God and I am fair. God is the truth and all I do are true and right."

I asked "God, I don't understand why I cannot have what I ask from you?" God answered, "I will explain. It is not fair and right for Me to fulfill your demand because I cannot give something that is not your own self.

It is not fair to give someone who is full of love to you if sometimes you are still hostile, or to give you someone generous but sometimes you can be cruel; or someone forgiving, however, you still hide revenge; someone understanding, however, you are very insensitive...

"He then said to me: "It is better for Me to give you someone who I know could grow to have all qualities you are searching rather than to make you waste your time to find someone who already has the qualities you want."

Your spouse would be bone from your bone and flesh from your flesh and you will see yourself in her and both of you will be one. Marriage is like a school. It is a life-long education. It is where you and your partner make adjustment and aim not merely to please each other, but to be better human beings and to make a solid teamwork. I do not give you a perfect partner, because you are not perfect either. I give you a partner with whom you would grow together.

"Love is a commitment of the heart that will stand the test of wavering emotions, intellectual rationalizing, circumstantial allure, hormonal infatuation, and even the wounds of your lover. Anything less is not true love."

"Have A Heart That Never Hates

Have A Smile That Never Fades

Have A Touch That Never Hurts

And Build A Relation That Never Breaks"

Installing Love

Tech Support: Yes, ... how can I help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me though the process?

Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running?

Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memorybut it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says,"Error - Program not run on external components." What should I do?

Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set upto run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.

Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.

Customer: Thank you, God.

What Makes You Happy?

What makes you satisfied and content? Why do you get bored? Where is the joy in life?

"Happiness could be defined as the emotion of progress toward desirable goals. There is an instant of contemplation* of the last goal in which one is content. But contentment becomes boredom immediately that new goals do not come to view. There is no more unhappy thing than a man who has accomplished all his ends in life." -- L. Ron Hubbard (*contemplation = thoughtful observation; meditation)

Let's examine three parts of this definition.

1. "There is an instant of contemplation of the last goal in which one is content."

Think of goals you have reached in the past. How did you feel right after your wedding? When you got your first job? When you graduated from school?

Take a fast second to contemplate the last goal you reached. Perhaps you now feel content?

2. "But contentment becomes boredom immediately that new goals do not come to view."

For example, planning a vacation is exciting. But toward the end of a vacation many people are bored as they no longer have a goal.

Arguments during honeymoons are common, if the newlyweds do not set goals for their marriage.

Planning your retirement and the first day of retirement is a thrill. But the joy of freedom quickly turns to boredom and early death if you do not work on new goals.

"There is no more unhappy thing than a man who has accomplished all his ends in life."

Think of a time you were very bored. Had you completed a major goal without starting a new one?

3. "Happiness could be defined as the emotion of progress toward desirable goals."

We can use this definition to understand unhappiness as well. When were you last unhappy?

In each case, you probably 1) had no goal, 2) were trying to reach an undesirable goal, or 3) you were making no progress toward a goal.

Making yourself happy is not difficult. Simply chose desirable goals and make progress toward them!

Give it a Try!

First, select a desirable goal. If you don't have a desirable goal, make one up. What do you really desire?

Second, write down ONE SINGLE THING you can do right now toward this goal. It has to be an action step. Not thinking about it or talking about it. Actual physical motion.

Next, do it! Take that one step right now. Make some small, but real progress. You might be surprised at how easy it is.

Finally, notice if making this little bit of progress makes you happier.